You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
