Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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