I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
