yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
