Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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