Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
my poor anus
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
