Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
