FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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