I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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