last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
