Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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