lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
