Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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