i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
