oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize