Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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