Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Randomize
