i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
