I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize