I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
