He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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