The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
