Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
