after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
