Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
