I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize