I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
