in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
