This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
