She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
