Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
