dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she pinky promised me she was 18
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
