I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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