i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
