Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize