sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
