Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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