Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
