Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
