but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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