found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
