come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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