Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You need Xanax blowdarts
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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