meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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