Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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