I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
