This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
