he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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