Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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