On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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