Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
