Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i need some magic done to my vagina
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
