I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize