Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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