Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
