I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
