yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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