he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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