can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
