so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
